Dateline: Georgia

Yes, I know I’m best known as a political dogblogger, but I’m not talking about the Georgia full of greedy Russians. It’s the OTHER Georgia, the one where Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob and Goober Bob leave their trailer early in the mornin’ and go a-huntin’ fer ‘possum and other elusive critters.

Well! Guess what they found? A dead Bigfoot. Which they promptly put in a big ole carton and then froze it fer a month and didn’t tell nobody. Til yesterday.

They held a press conference with pictures and everything. According to Curt Nelson, a scientist at the University of Minnesota who performed a DNA analysis on Bigfoot, one of the two samples came from a human and the other was 96 percent from an opossum.

The AP reports that their spokesman is saying the DNA samples may not have been taken correctly and may have been contaminated, and that he would proceed with an autopsy of the alleged Bigfoot remains, currently in a freezer at an undisclosed location, which I’m guessin’ is right back of Jimmy Bob’s toolshed.

Now, why are they a-doin' that? Bigfoot’s kin are grieving!! They need closure!! Put him back you redneck morons!!